OK, check out this lovely message that I just received from an admirer on Match.com. I've been doing the online dating thing more for the comedic potential of it than actually finding a mate, and messages like this truly make the whole endeavour worthwhile:

Hope you are doing well.I read your profile.You are beautiful and attractive female.The clue to every thing a good man with good soul should love is in you there in your beautiful pictures.Right from the start in the light gentle smile that swell the archery of your so fully nicely shaped lips.There is a good sense of humour and confidence on your sweet and attractive face.your soft sweet velvety cheeks with light dimples look attractive.Honest vacuous innocence on your whole face the face which is looking with full of grace and corona.you really have a great force in your physical personality which can and maintain a status where ever you go with that beautiful looks.I think that curiosity to know the unknown does not hurt any one.

I'm not sure that being called "vacuous" is really a compliment. Also, I think there might have been a few Google Translator fails in there: "archery" of my lips? "Grace and corona"? I don't even drink beer! Anyway, this message right here is really good value for money, I think...at this rate I'm going to enter into a domestic partnership with Currie Cat and call it a day.