Teary TV

When I lived in Canada I used to have a secret shameful addiction to Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Ugh, I know. It's so contrived. The "meeting" with the team in their motorhome as they choose the lucky family to greet, the sappy soundtrack as the family come gleefully out of their shack to be informed that a 17 room house with pool, tennis court and approximately 30 plasma screen TVs will be built for them in 3 days...and I never ever failed to cry. I knew how fake it was and I would still sit there sobbing and shaking my fist: "Damn you, Ty Pennington!"

Anyways. I rarely watch TV here in the UK, but as I no longer have: a) books or b) a fast internet connection (damn you Sky! Damn you stupid wireless internet dongle!), I found myself flicking through the channels tonight and came across the "Pride of Britain" awards. Sponsored by the Daily Mirror and ITV, they basically find the saddest/most inspirational stories, film 2 minute profiles on them, then bring them up on stage to be presented with a trophy while celebrities give them standing ovations and Coldplay's Viva la Vida plays in the background ("Whooaaaaaaaaa, whooooaaaa").

The first one I saw was mildly entertaining. It was an award presented to a 95 year old absailing granny by James Corden, who jokingly noted that absailing is normally an activity people take up at 19 or 20, and so, what was she going to do now: go drink cider in the park with her mates, or backpack around Thailand? Warm laughs, granny gets her trophy, and off she goes.

Next one: the Prince's Trust award, presented to an ex-convict and teenage bully who had turned his life around, overcome an addiction to heroin, and now ran a hugely successful non-profit helping other at risk young men. Cue inspirational clip narrated by Prince Charles, cue stagestruck award winner being presented with his trophy by Naomi Campbell...then the zinger: the host, Carol Vorderman, says, "Now, Mr. Ex-Con, you once said, the judge who sent you down for 4 years saved your life and you wanted to thank him. Well, here he is, His Honour Justice Ian McIntosh." Ooooh, lord. Cue the waterworks from Mr. Ex-Con...I held it together, until His Honour started crying as well, and then I was done. "It's not very often people thank me for sending them down," snorfled His Honour. Oh, that was it. Cue the Kleenex.

OK, it's time to turn this OFF...

UPDATE: Oh, lordy, the Nepalese Gurkhas just presented Joanna Lumley with an award for campaigning on their behalf to win their rights to settle in the UK...in fact, they just wheeled up the 90-something year old Gurkha veteran who saved her Dad's life in 1944...oh, gosh, here I go again...