You Never Know What's Under the Couch...

...it could be some spare change, or it could be something more, uh....substantial? So my friend Zak in New York told me the best "what the hell is that under the couch?!" story tonight. He was cleaning up last night because his parents were coming for dinner, and turned one of the couch pillows over and found what appeared to be...a chicken breast. Then he found another one, and was understandably bemused at he and his roommate's horrific housekeeping blunder in allowing what appeared to be two chicken breasts rot under the couch cushions.

Upon closer examination, he realized they were the largest silicone bra inserts he had EVER seen. A few weeks earlier, Zak and his friend had brought some lovely ladies home from some New York club and Zak's friend and some girl had gotten busy on the couch...and obviously at some point mid-makeout session she distracted Zak's friend by shouting "Hey, what's that?!" and pointing in the opposite direction so she could slip 'em out of her bra and under the couch unnoticed. But, from Zak's account, these puppies were so big there's no way he COULDN'T have noticed.

So the inserts have pride of place on Zak's bookshelf at the moment, but he's planning on delivering them to his friend at work, in a Tiffany's box. Classic.