OMG, check out this "Letter of Truth" from "Britney" to her "fans" posted on DListed:
Dear Frends and Fans,
Hi! How are y'all? Let's git down to it!
Y’all, pregnancy ain’t purty. I aint gonna lie. I’s feelin’ real fat these days. Already I cant wait to git myself down to a size 2. I hear Angelina Jo-lee is swallowing those Hoodia pills and that’s what Im gonna do! Im gunna git real hot. But with big boobs. You’ll see. Kev’s offered me $2 million if I can fit into that red leather catsuit I wore in mah video, you know the one. ‘Cept I cant figure out how this works, Kev don’t got that much money so Im supposin’ that he’s givin’ me $2 million of mah own money?
Lil’ P is so cute, y’all! I cant wait to have his little sister and dress her up real cute in sequins and pearls. And hotpants and tube tops, thats real sweet on little girls! Do they make four inch stilet-toes for young 'uns?
Kev calls me an “Emoshunal mess.” Right now ‘cause all them hermones goin’ thru my body or as Kev calls ‘em, Whore-moans! He’s so funny! Y’all, me and Jamie Lynne and my cousin Laura Lynne we all agree the baby should be named Brandi Lynne or Misti Lynne, I cannot decide!! Maybe even Taffi Lynne. I luv that name. Kevin says he don’t care. Something about signing checks? He is so simple! My mama calls him very simple minded. I think that means that he’s like, really smart.
Y’all I gots to go. Mah little Boo is climbing into the dogs food... again! Stay tuned for another season of Chaotic but wif me real preggers and look outs for mah new bubble gum scented perfume, Brit-Pop! And mah new line of Pork Rinds called Brit’s Piggy Chips! I’s comin out with foodstuffs now ‘cause I loves me some money! And cause...uh...I gots to support my husband..and that Shar Jackson.
Luv,
Brits
I love white-trash-false-eyelash-and- platform -flip-flops wearin'Britney way more than "I'm a Christian" Britney. Possibly even more than "I'm kissing Madonna" Britney, too.
Dear Frends and Fans,
Hi! How are y'all? Let's git down to it!
Y’all, pregnancy ain’t purty. I aint gonna lie. I’s feelin’ real fat these days. Already I cant wait to git myself down to a size 2. I hear Angelina Jo-lee is swallowing those Hoodia pills and that’s what Im gonna do! Im gunna git real hot. But with big boobs. You’ll see. Kev’s offered me $2 million if I can fit into that red leather catsuit I wore in mah video, you know the one. ‘Cept I cant figure out how this works, Kev don’t got that much money so Im supposin’ that he’s givin’ me $2 million of mah own money?
Lil’ P is so cute, y’all! I cant wait to have his little sister and dress her up real cute in sequins and pearls. And hotpants and tube tops, thats real sweet on little girls! Do they make four inch stilet-toes for young 'uns?
Kev calls me an “Emoshunal mess.” Right now ‘cause all them hermones goin’ thru my body or as Kev calls ‘em, Whore-moans! He’s so funny! Y’all, me and Jamie Lynne and my cousin Laura Lynne we all agree the baby should be named Brandi Lynne or Misti Lynne, I cannot decide!! Maybe even Taffi Lynne. I luv that name. Kevin says he don’t care. Something about signing checks? He is so simple! My mama calls him very simple minded. I think that means that he’s like, really smart.
Y’all I gots to go. Mah little Boo is climbing into the dogs food... again! Stay tuned for another season of Chaotic but wif me real preggers and look outs for mah new bubble gum scented perfume, Brit-Pop! And mah new line of Pork Rinds called Brit’s Piggy Chips! I’s comin out with foodstuffs now ‘cause I loves me some money! And cause...uh...I gots to support my husband..and that Shar Jackson.
Luv,
Brits
I love white-trash-false-eyelash-and- platform -flip-flops wearin'Britney way more than "I'm a Christian" Britney. Possibly even more than "I'm kissing Madonna" Britney, too.