Debunking Facebook "Copyright Declarations"

Monday morning.  Always a grumpy time, but never more so than when I log on to Facebook and find all of my friends posting silliness like this:

In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare that my copyright is attached to all of my personal details, illustrations, comics, paintings, professional photos and videos, etc. (as a result of the Berner Convention).

For commercial use of the above my written consent is needed at all times!

(Anyone reading this can copy this text and paste it on their Facebook Wall. This will place...them under protection of copyright lawsBy the present communiqué, I notify Facebook that it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, disseminate, or take any other action against me on the basis of this profile and/or its contents. The aforementioned prohibited actions also apply to employees, students, agents and/or any staff under Facebook's direction or control. The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of my privacy is punished by law (UCC 1 1-308-308 1-103 and the Rome Statute).

Facebook is now an open capital entity. All members are recommended to publish a notice like this, or if you prefer, you may copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement at least once, you will be tacitly allowing the use of elements such as your photos as well as the information contained in your profile status updates...  

There are so many things wrong with this, I don't know where to begin.  I hastily posted a quick few lines about why these Facebook declarations are actually useless, from bed, on my iPad, which was quickly liked, commented on and re-shared.  So I thought, now that I'm awake and had a cup of coffee, I would elaborate a bit more on why this particular Facebook declaration is crap, and also debunk some of the concerns about what the evil Facebook overlords are doing with your content.  

1.  Copyright Exists in Original Works, Whether You Declare It or Not.  

Copyright automatically exists upon the creation of an original work, and in most cases will vest in the creator of that work.  You don't need to "declare" your copyright in order to have copyright in your original photos, Facebook statuses and other copyrightable works that you post on your Facebook status.  

2.  It's the "Berne" Convention, not the "Berner Convention," and it's not new - it's been around since 1886.  Yes, 1886.  

So this Facebook declaration seems to suggest that as a result of some new convention, you now have copyright in your Facebook data.  Um, no.  The Berne Convention for the Protection of Artistic and Literary Works was first enacted in 1886, in Berne, Switzerland (get it?!), and under the convention, copyright is AUTOMATIC - no declaration or registration required.  Which kind of defeats the purpose of the whole "I'm declaring this as a result of the Berne Convention."  By the way, international conventions don't have the force of law until they're ratified by an individual nation - i.e., until Canada enshrined its principles in the Copyright Act.  Which we did.  A long time ago.  

3.  Copyright Protects an Original Work, Whether it's for "Commercial Use" or Otherwise.  

This Facebook declaration seems to suggest that you only need to give consent for "commercial use."  Err, that's great, but aren't you worried about non-commercial use, too, if you're posting this on your Facebook wall?  Anyway, just so we're all clear - under copyright law, you have to consent to ANY kind of use, which brings me to me next point...  

4.  In agreeing to Facebook's Terms of Service, You've Already Agreed to Facebook's Use of Your Data.  

When you signed up for Facebook, you had to agree to Facebook's Terms of Service (well, Facebook calls them the "Statement of Right and Responsibilities"), which are available for your reading pleasure here.  (oh, and - these "new guidelines" that apparently prompted this declaration?  You'll notice that Facebook's Statement of Right and Responsibilities, i.e., its terms of service, were last revised June 8, 2012.  So, yeah - not recently.  What the heck are these new "guidelines" that prompted the declaration?  I have no idea.)

Here's what you agreed to:   "For content that is covered by intellectual property rights, like photos and videos (IP content), you specifically give us the following permission, subject to your privacy and application settings: you grant us a non-exclusive, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-free, worldwide license to use any IP content that you post on or in connection with Facebook (IP License). This IP License ends when you delete your IP content or your account unless your content has been shared with others, and they have not deleted it."   So.  You've already given Facebook just about as broad a license to your intellectual property as you can possibly give - subject to whatever privacy or application settings you set on your account. 

This is your contract with Facebook. By accessing and using Facebook, you agreed (and continue to agree) to this contract.    There are more details in Facebook's Data Use Policy about how Facebook uses your information, including the following:   "We only provide data to our advertising partners or customers after we have removed your name or any other personally identifying information from it, or have combined it with other people's data in a way that it is no longer associated with you."  

Facebook's Data Use Policy also says clearly:   "While you are allowing us to use the information we receive about you, you always own all of your information. Your trust is important to us, which is why we don't share information we receive about you with others unless we have:

- received your permission;

- given you notice, such as by telling you about it in this policy; or

- removed your name or any other personally identifying information from it."

5.  Your Posting of a Notice on Your Facebook Wall Has No Legal Effect.  The Only Remedy Available To You If You Don't Like Facebook's Terms? DON'T USE FACEBOOK.  

So, you've already got a contract in place with Facebook. The only way you could amend it (change it, in plain people speak) via Facebook status would be if you and Facebook agreed in your contract that you COULD amend the contract this way.  Guess what?  No dice.  Once again, refer to the Facebook Statement of Rights and Responsibilities.  Section 14 talks about how amendments to the contract are made.  Funny - declarations in Facebook statuses aren't covered! In fact, Facebook is the only party to the contract permitted to make changes. Even better, you agree by your continued use of Facebook to any amendments Facebook may make to the Statement of Rights and Responsibilities.  So maybe you should give that Statement a read sometime.  And then, you know, if you don't like the terms - DON'T USE FACEBOOK.  That's the only option available to you.  

6.  The Content Of Your Profile Ain't Private.  Unless You MAKE It Private.  

Refer again to Facebook's Data Use Policy.  Your profile is only private to the extent that you make it so, and to the extent that you haven't agreed to Facebook using or sharing some of your information.  

7.  Rome Statute?  Uhhh...Do You Mean the Rome CONVENTION?!  

The Rome Convention for the Protection of Performers, Producers of Phonograms and Broadcasting Organizations is also old news - it was originally enacted in 1961 and Canada become a signatory to this WIPO (World Intellectual Property Organization) Treaty in 1998.  It did a lot of things, but mainly it gave performers rights in reproductions of their performances, and was a response to new high-falutin' technologies like VHS video recorders and cassette tapes.  So...yeah.  Again, you can't enforce an international convention personally - your country has to ratify it by enacting the provisions under local law.  So, for Canadians, you'd be talking about the Copyright Act.   There is a thing called the "Rome Statute," but it has nothing to do with intellectual property or privacy.  As my friend Monica Leonardo, a human rights lawyer, pointed out:   "Apart from provisions for the protection of the victims and witnesses and their participation in the proceedings at the International Criminal Court, the Rome Statute has no references to privacy whatsoever...and certainly not regarding the punishment of privacy violations by Facebook."

8.  UCC 1 1-308-308 1-103?! WHAT IN THE WHAT?   This is a reference to the  Uniform Commercial Code.  It's RECOMMENDED laws for how STATES (i.e., COUNTRIES) do business with each other.  Right.  Definitely applicable to my Facebook status update about my cat.

 9.  An "open capital entity" is not a thing.   

I think what the Facebook declaration-mongers are trying to get at here is that Facebook is now a public company, with securities traded on a public stock exchange (NASDAQ).  As a public company, the buying and selling of shares of Facebook is open to Joe Public and as a result, Facebook must comply with U.S. securities requirements, such as reporting its financial results to its investors.  Becoming a company with publicly-traded stock does not somehow mean that Facebook users' content is available to all investors or that Facebook is now publishing your relationship status on the stock exchange.  In 6 (2015 update: 9!) years of corporate/commercial practice (including a stint as a securities lawyer), I have never heard the term "open capital entity."     

So, at the end of the day, I will say this.  I'm not trying to make you feel stupid about your post.  You posted the Facebook declaration on your Timeline because it raised some concerns for you, about privacy and intellectual property rights. And rightly so. You should be concerned about those things. Good on you. But guess what?  In using social media sites like Facebook, you've already agreed to give up some of those rights. If you're concerned, read your contract. And if you don't like the terms of your contract, don't use Facebook.  

2015 update:  the new version of this Facebook post making the rounds talks about "confidential information" and preserving your privacy now that Facebook is a "public entity."  My 2015 update is...there is no update.  Everything I've just said above, still applies.

I Mean, COME ON. How cute is this kitty?

Hopscotch 2012

I've never really been into beer or spirits, and I'm not that much of a drinker, but over the past couple of years or so I've developed a love for scotch and an appreciation (if not love) for craft beers.  So, it was a no-brainer that I'd be attending this year's Hopscotch Festival - a scotch, whisky and beer and spirits extravaganza, which took place this year at the PNE Forum.  Even though it was completely not Dani-diet friendly, there was no way I was missing this.

With your $45 admission ticket to the Grand Tasting Hall, you are given, upon entrance, a large shot glass and 5 tokens.  You are then set loose in an arena of exhibitors offering tastes of their various products.  You can buy more tokens and taste to your heart's content.  After doing two back-to-back hot yoga classes yesterday, I decided I had sweat out enough toxins to merit an evening of semi-debauchery.  I showered then met my friend E. at the PNE Forum, and the Hopscotch madness began. 

We were overwhelmed when we entered the Forum.  First, the place was packed.  This was Hopscotch's first year at this venue, and it was clear they needed a bigger one next year.  Second, the map showed that there were about 70 vendors to be visited, and we had no idea where to begin.  We decided to start with the local brewers and distillers.

Our first stop was Parallel 49 Brewing Company.  They make my favourite Seed Spitter Watermelon Witbier.  The line for their booth was huge.  We ended up talking to the guy in line in front of us, who said he was waiting as his friend was one of the owners and he was sure he'd get a free taste. 

"Oh, we're with you then," I said.

"Of course," he said, immediately playing along, pretending to introduce us to his friend.  "Meet Jessie (me) and Claire (E.)."  We were more than happy to be Jessie and Claire if it meant free beer.  As it happened, we made it into a shorter line at the booth and were happy to fork over one token each for a taste of the Salty Scot, a scotch ale infused with seasalt and caramel.  It was to die for, light and malty.  It smelled great, too.

The rest of the evening is a bit of a blur (and became even blurrier as we made our way amongst the booths), but highlights included:

-  Kucch Nai, a blended scotch whisky finished in a sherry cask, that we were told is marketed primarily to the Indian market;

-  Lighthouse Brewing Company's Dark Chocolate Porter, which features fair-trade cacao nibs from Guyana;

-  Spicebox's Canadian Spiced Whisky - and also their amazingly decadent Pumpkin-Spiced Whisky - imagine an alcholic pumpkin spiced latte - without more alcohol and less latte. 
 
I saved my favourite, favourite scotch for last - Ardbeg, a 10 year old Islay scotch that inspired my interest in whisky  - I've yet to find anything I like better than this scotch.

We avoided a lot of the "big brands" that were represented at the festival - mostly because they had staffed their tables with good looking girls who didn't know anything about the product they were serving.  Given our fellow festival-goers were about 70% dudes, this was probably a wise decision, but we enjoyed speaking to people who were either connected to or knowledgeable about the making of their product. 

There were plenty of food vendors on hand as well as water stations, to make sure people didn't get too drunk, but there were inevitably quite a few happy people staggering around by the time we left the festival.  Two drunk guys approached me and E. as we were going to hail a cab and asked if we wanted to share a limo back downtown with them.  We looked at each other, shrugged, and then said, "Well, why not?"  In the end though, the bus came before the limo, and we ditched our would-be consorts for public transit. 

It's a good time, Hopscotch.  Taste a little, talk a little - I'll definitely be back next year!

Talking about Redemption on Definitely Not the Opera

I am featured on this week's episode of CBC Radio's "Definitely Not the Opera."  The theme was redemption, and I had been contacted by a producer who thought it might be interesting to talk to - she had read this blog and noticed that I had viewed the Stanley Cup Riot cleanup in 2011 as a kind of redemption for our city.

You can find a summary of the episode, as well as a link to the podcast, here.

I felt privileged to be ask to speak on behalf of the hundreds of volunteers who came out to help last year, but I also feel humbled and a little bit sheepish at the inordinate amount of attention I have personally gotten for being just one of many people out on the streets - it's not like the clean-up was some operation that I directed or inspired. I just chose to be a part of it.  So I wanted to just state for the record that I acknowledge, appreciate and salute all of the people that were a part of our riot cleanup crew.  Special shout-outs to my friend Kate, who I spent the day with, and the many friends we met that day: Katelynn, Tim, and countless others, some of whose names we never knew.  Thank you, all of you.

You can view my photos of the cleanup and my account of the day here.

Many thanks to CBC producer Jenna Cameron and the rest of the DNTO team for the opportunity to be a part of the show.

A Weekend at Doe Bay

Every year my cousin Sarah and I go on what we call our "annual sojourn."  Last year we went to Osoyoos to visit the Nk'Mip Winery and Spirit Ridge Spa and Resort.  This weekend, we went to Doe Bay, on Orcas Island, to participate in a yoga retreat led by

Megan Costello

.  It was a restful weekend of yoga practice, meditation, soaks in the outdoor tubs overlooking Doe Bay, and naps.  I even turned off all of my various technological devices for the entire weekend!

We left Vancouver early Friday morning to make our way to the Anacortes Ferry.  At the border, the guard asked us where we were going shopping.  When we explained that we weren't going shopping, we were going to do yoga and meditate, he was incredulous.  

"And...you're

paying

to do this?"  We nodded.  "Man, I'm in the wrong business!"

Along the way we played my favourite car game, "Fat America," where each participant picks a fast food chain, and the winner is the one who spots the most outlets en route.  I lost horribly by choosing Burger King - there wasn't one the entire way to Anacortes - while Sal trounced me with the safe (but smart) choice of McDonalds.  We made it to the ferry terminal in enough time to line up and grab our first cup of tea of the day before the boat arrived.   We were amazed that the ferry cost a total of $48 round trip, for both us and the car (my mom was generous enough to give me her car while she is unable to drive due to her broken hip). 

Loading onto the boat.   We are so excited at the cheap fares on Washington State Ferries.

The MV Yakima.  Built in 1968, "restored" in 2001.  Still afloat.

The decor of the MV Yakima left a little to be desired - but sported some interesting entertainment sadly lacking on BC Ferries.  This was the first of many puzzles set up on board.

Another one!  All I could think was, "It would take just one asshole stealing a piece to ruin this for everyone."  All Sal could think was, "I bet this puzzle is covered in germs."

The Salish Sea.

It's a little windy, eh Sal?

Why yes, we DO like to make stupid faces in photos.  We figure it will make our nieces and nephew happy when they are grown up and we are old

, to remember their silly Aunties.

Again - not a sign you'd see on a BC Ferry.

That's where we're going!  Orcas Island!

That's three, if you're keeping count.

Eddie Crane, our trip mascot, enjoys the view as we approach Lopez Island.

Our first stop when we landed on Orcas was Deer Harbour.  Sal has very fond memories of sailing there with my her parents (my aunt and uncle) and her sister.   Not having been there for years, she was amazed at how small it was.  While I liked Deer Harbour, I was more a fan of West Sound, which was a charming seaside village of clapboard houses.  I decided immediately that we would buy a closed-up shop we passed by, and turn it into a local law office slash county newspaper slash general store.

In Deer Harbour, we visited the historic post office, which had been bought some years ago by the "Deer Harbour Community Club," which we noticed, as we made our way around the area, had bought up several historic properties, including a church and a community dance hall.

Beautiful post office boxes in the Deer Harbour Post Office.

Eddie enjoyed the post office. 

The Marina at Deer Harbour.  Sal was sad to see if no longer sported the "76" Ball she remember from when she was a kid.

 After we visited Deer Harbour, we stopped in East Sound.  Probably the most "urban" part of the island, we had lunch at a pub overlooking the water, and visited a great bookstore, Darvill's - I always like to check out books on local history when I travel.

The view from the Madrona Bar and Grill in East Sound.

Hour 2 of Technology-Free Dani.  I could get used to this.

 After lunch, we made our way to Doe Bay.  The resort is a number of cottages, huts and yurts scattered throughout a large, coastal property.  The hub of the resort is the general store, which also features a vegetarian cafe, and a guest lounge that reminded Sal and I of a grandparents' den - old dusty volumes of Readers' Digest, ancient boardgames, and slightly musty armchairs.

We had rented a little cottage at Doe Bay called "The Little House."  It was a tiny, rustic place, just big enough for a bedroom, a futon, a tiny kitchenette and a half bath - but it had heat, and a spectacular view:

Doe Bay also featured soaking tubs that looked out on the water.  We weren't allowed to take pictures because the tubs are "clothing optional" - which meant a lot of what our niece Leah would call "bare nudies."  A lot of them.

This wasn't Instagramed or P

hotos

hopped

at all - it really was this beautiful.  The

soaking tubs are just to th

e left of this pho

to.

 Sitting in the soaking tubs, you could listen to this waterfall rushing past you into the bay.

. 

 On Saturday afternoon, in the pouring rain, Sal and I decided to swim in this bay before rushing to the soaking tubs.  There was a seal and a heron who watched us rather dubiously as we ran screaming into the water.  It was icy cold, but refreshing - so refreshing that no sooner had we rushed back onto the beach than we decided to turn around and go back in.

 Surprisingly, Sally had a harder time turning off the technology than I did.

Our retreat started on the Friday night, with a yoga session that only some of the group of 14 women attended - as not everyone had arrived yet.  Afterwards, Sal and I had time to hit the soaking tubs before making dinner in our little cottage.  Then we went back to the studio for yoga nidra - a kind of guided meditation that we did while lying on our backs, cuddled up with blankets.  Megan played the crystal singing bowls which produced the most remarkable tones.  After half an hour of that, I was ready for bed and climbed right in as soon as we got back to the cottage, and slept deeply.  I had the weirdest dream though, that I was onstage in a production that featured both Benedict Cumberbatch (surprise surprise) and Dame Judi Dench.  There was an unfortunate mishaps with the costumes, however, and we were all scrambling backstage to find things to wear.  Dame Judi said to me in most disgusted tones that she couldn't find "a damn bra" to wear.

Our Little House, before we bedded down for the night.

On Saturday, time seemed to stand still - the day seemed to go on forever, but in a good way.  We woke early for energy practice.  Well - Sal woke early.  I woke early, then decided my bed and a sleep-in was calling me more than energy practice.  But I was up for our 8:30 session, which was followed by meditation and discussion.  At lunch Sal and I headed back to the soaking tubs, and then we had some free time to read (and nap) before returning for an afternoon  yoga session.  We made ourselves cups of tea and headed back into the rain to visit the soaking tubs again, before that night's yoga nidra.  I came prepared for the meditation this time - I was already in my jammies so that I could fall into bed right after.

This chair quickly became my favourite spot - I took my tea and my book out here to watch the view.

..

...because who wouldn't?!

I love being near the water.  I always have.  It makes me feel restful, and creative.  Some might say this is because I'm a Cancer, which is a water sign.  All I know was that two-and-a-bit days was not enough time for me to sit and watch the water, and the twinkling lights of other islands.  This morning, I took my tea out and sat in the drizzle to watch the view before our final morning yoga session.

I learned a lot about yoga practices this weekend that I didn't know.  Megan talked a lot about chakras - which has never really been something instructors at my various yoga drop-ins have really talked about in depth.  We did a number of meditations focused on various chakras, and I found myself last night urging Sally to Google various things about chakras online - I wanted to know why the chakras were colored the way they were, what tradition they came from, what they're supposed to "do."  We also did meditations to connect with the earth and the sky.

Megan also uses a number of harmonic practices, such as her singing bowls, and pitch forks (which sounded like chimes to me), to create healing sounds.  Last night I asked her to explain what some of them meant.  She explained that the pitch forks were connected to various planets, and some were connected to deities.  I'm not sure how much I believe in those kind of cosmic connections, but I certainly felt the effects of some of the sounds.  Last night I had gone into our yoga nidra session with a raging headache - and after listening to the bowls, that filled the studio with sound and vibration, my head felt better.  So - call me the optimistic skeptic. 

Being us, Sally and I of course giggled and joked through much of the weekend.  Thankfully, none of the other ladies in our group seemed to mind.  They laughed when Sal explained, during introductions, that we were there because we had drank too much on last year's annual sojourn.  Some even joined in when I started hula hooping joyously before our evening session.  We were the class clowns, that's for sure, but hopefully it wasn't

too

disrespectful.  

When we left this morning, I was sad that we didn't have a few more days to relax.  I needed to sleep more, read more books, and spend more time being quiet and disconnected from work.  I loved Orcas, and will definitely want to go back to explore more.

In the meantime, Sal and I are planning our next sojourn.  We've decided on a "man's weekend," where we learn to fly-fish, and drink beer, and wear plaid.  Namaste.

Bangles and Back Handed Compliments.

On my lunch hour today, I had to have some bloodwork run.  The nearest lab to me is in Chinatown.  I love Chinatown, but it's always a bit of a funny experience at this lab, where there are literally no waiting room magazines in English, or signs in English, or fellow patients to chat to who speak English.  Ah, Canada.  Ah, multiculturalism.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

Anyway, I'm wearing some beautiful bangles today that I picked up at

Tait

, a little boutique in Gastown.  These bangles are a personal triumph.  You see, my wrists have been too fat to wear bangles for quite some time, but now that I'm losing weight - over 50 pounds down now - all sorts of fashion avenues are opening up for me: knee-high boots, skinny jeans - and BANGLES!

The technician, who was Chinese, admired my bangles while she took my blood.

"Those are beautiful," she gushed.

"Thank you," I said proudly, twisting my wrist this way and that so they jingled.

"Chinese people like those," she said.  "It means you should have gold and diamonds.  I can't wear them - I look too bony."

"Oh really?" I murmured, not because I necessarily cared, more to be polite.  I was actively trying to ignore the giant needle in my arm at that point.

"Yeah.  I'm thin, I can't wear them.  Old Chinese people - they like people like you, people more plump.  It shows you're prosperous because you eat too much.  It's good that you got a bit of extra flesh."

And, smack!  Cue the back-handed compliment.  Serves me right for being so smug about my bracelets.

Quick Fringe Round-Up

Well, the Danielles have been seeing as many shows as we can at Fringe this year, but in between seeing shows and doing our own show, CAPS LOCK: The Musical, we haven't had tons of time to blog.  Fail.  But, here are a few words on some of the things we've seen so far:

Chlamydia dell'Arte: A Sex-Ed Burlesque (Performance Works):  a combination of standup confessionals, video interviews, dance interludes, and a fantastically terrifying vagina puppet.    A little bit disjointed, a lot outrageous and ribald.  Not for the faint of heart, but you'll laugh, even if it's just out of shock!

Underbelly (Waterfront):  A one-man, trip-hoppy, stream of consciousness meander through the life of beat poet William S. Burroughs.  "Cameos" by Jack Kerouac and Allan Ginsberg.  An impressive, thought-provoking performance by Jayson McDonald. 

Burnt at the Steak (Performance Works):  One-woman show about an "Italian Texas Rose" who moves to New York to pursue a career on Broadway, but ends up managing a downtown steakhouse.  Carolann Valentino plays herself, her psychic mother, and the entire staff and clientele of the steakhouse.  There are a few standard songs that she's re-written the lyrics to, but  the show doesn't need them - it's a success just based on her hilarious impersonations, and frankly she's a much better actor than singer.  This show has won Best of Fringe at just about every festival this summer, and it's fun.  Nothing too deep, just pure comedy and entertainment.

Romance (CBC Studios):  Queer Arts Society's take on David Mamet's courtroom drama is a hit.  It's offensive to just about every religion, race and sexual demographic you can think of, everyone's angry, and everyone says "Fuck you" alot.  In other words, it's awesome.  Brian Hinson as the Judge high on allergy medication steals the show.

Fishbowl (Performance Works): Mark Shyzer plays four seemingly unrelated characters - a geeky schoolgirl, a depressed teenage boy named Raven, an old man nearing death, and a woman who is having difficulty coming to terms with the upcoming marriage of her gay ex-husband.  Hilarious and poignant.  

Zanna, Don't (CBC Studios):  The latest from Awkward Stage Productions, this musical features an all-youth cast - the oldest has just turned 20.  Imagine a world where gay is the norm, and there is on-going debate about whether "heteros" should be allowed in the military and the school board bans a hetero couple from going to prom.  Zanna, Don't is a witty, fluffy piece of pop musical fun and the youth cast sing and dance their hearts out. 

Riverview High (Firehall):  The buzz about this show started in...oh, JANUARY and audiences are loving it.  A modern take on the Archie-Betty-Veronica love triangle, with sly references to other comic book characters.  Alex has to decide who to take to prom - will it be sexy Erica Snodge or girl-next-door Cathy?  A fantastically talented cast, great voices, and great choreography by Dawn Ewen.

Well, that's it from us for now.  4 more days of Fringe, lots more to see, plus two more performances of CAPS LOCK, which has been selling out every night, which we're thrilled about.  Friday night's show is sold out, but we have a final show on Saturday afternoon at 2:20 and there are still some tickets available.  Visit the Fringe website to book your tickets.

My First Fringe

My first experience with a fringe festival was growing up in Victoria.  As a poor student, I didn't have the opportunity to go to tons of theatre unless my parents paid (which they often did).  Also, Victoria was (is) a small-ish town and there wasn't always tons going on.  So I loved the Victoria Fringe Festival, where I could buy a relatively inexpensive pass and skip from show to show to show.  I spent hours flipping through the Fringe guide, plotting and planning the shows to see.    Some of the shows were fantastic.  Some were transformative.  Some were god-awful.  But that "pick-n-mix" aspect of Fringe was liberating, inspiring, exhilarating.

This year is my first Fringe as an artist.  I am performing in a new musical work called CAPS LOCK, which is a modern office romance, appearing on the main stage at Studio 16 (1555 West 7th) during the Vancouver International Fringe Festival.  We've been working hard all summer on this show - hence my relative silence here on this blog - and tonight was our opening.

What I never realized before is that the sheer volume of shows put on by Fringe, in a limited number of venues, means: a) very little time in your actual venue to rehearse; and b) a mere 15 minutes at the top and tail of each show to get in costume, get your set ready, and post-show, strike the set and get the hell outta dodge so the next show goes up in time.  YOWZA.  For a theatrical control-freak like me, today - our tech day in our venue and also our opening, within 2 hours - was the epitome of stressful.

The CAPS LOCK team had its first look at the venue in which we'd be performing at noon today, with our opening scheduled for 5 pm.  This means that at 12, our production team first laid eyes on the stage it now had to dress, the lighting board it now had to program, and the screen where we wanted to project various slides during the show (oooh, fancy!).  It meant we had to figure out where to squeeze the 7 piece orchestra.  Just how far apart we could place the characters' desks in the "office."  Where we had to stand for lighting cues.  Whether our choreography was going to fit on the stage we had.  Whether the technical effects were going to be timed properly with our performance.  Whether the sound cues would happen on time.  You know.  No big deal.

Well, actually, very big deal.  The screen wasn't high enough for the audience to see.  There wasn't enough room for the cello.  Was the double-bass going to be able to see our music director/composer?  If I stood here would I still be in the light?  By 2:30 p.m. we had just finished setting props.  There was no time to do an actual run in the space - we'd have to just rehearse particular cues, do as much of a stop-and-start of problem areas as we could, and then hope for the best for our opening at 5:00 p.m.   So that was it.  We were going to go on, in front of an audience, having not fully rehearsed the show in our venue.  I was literally sweating bullets from anxiety. 

At 3:15 p.m., when we were firmly shown the exit by a Fringe official, some of us went for a very subdued bite to eat before we had to be back at the theatre for 4:30 p.m.  I could barely eat, I felt so sick with nerves.  Not for my performance - that I could control - but for how everything else was going to somehow come together in time.  As I got into costume and make-up, I could hear a buzz of arriving audience members outside the dressing room.  I peeked out to see that there were audience members lined up out the door of the venue.  My hands started to shake.  What have I gotten myself into?

As it turned out - it turned out.  The audience laughed.  They applauded.  No one forgot to sing.  Nothing fell apart.  There were a few technical glitches, but in the end, it was a show, and an entertaining one, too.   And I have never felt so exhilarated after a performance in my life.  The stress and urgency of the earlier part of the day, the anxiety at the lack of rehearsal time in the venue - it all melted away and I felt just a tremendous sense of pride and relief that we had made it happen.  And no one had killed (or even maimed) anyone else in the process!

One of the additional perks of being a Fringe Artist is the Fringe rush pass - I have access to as many shows as I can possibly cram into my already incredibly-busy schedule (surprisingly - ha - Fringe doesn't pay enough for me to leave the practice of law). 

My fellow cast member (and Danielle), Danielle St. Pierre, and I, have always joked about her propensity to look for the silver lining in every show, always finding something good to say, whilst I tend to be overly critical.  "We should write a theatre review blog called 'Good Danielle, Bad Danielle'," I said one day, jokingly.

Well, we've decided to do just that - although, truth be told, sometimes I'm Good Danielle and she's Bad Danielle (you won't even know which - sneaky!).  But we've set ourselves an ambitious schedule between now and the end of Fringe on September 16, and plan to say something on this blog about each of them.

In case you're in Vancouver and interested in checking out CAPS LOCK, or seeing another one of the shows with Good Danielle, Bad Danielle, here's our schedule:

Saturday, September 8

12:50 - Chlamydia dell'Arte - Performance Works, Granville Island

2:30 pm - Underbelly - Waterfront Theatre, Granville Island

4:30 pm -  Burnt at the Steak - Peformance Works, Granville Island

9:30 - Romance, CBC Studios (Hamilton & Georgia)

Monday, September 10

6:30 p.m. - Fishbowl,  Performance Works, Granville Island

9:45 p.m. - CAPS LOCK: THE MUSICAL (starring ME!), Studio 16

Tuesday, September 11

1:00 p.m. - Zanna, Don't!,  CBC Studios (Hamilton & Georgia)

5:00 p.m. - CAPS LOCK: THE MUSICAL (starring ME!), Studio 16

 7:45 p.m. - Loon, Waterfront Theatre, Granville Island (after our show)

Wednesday, September 12

5:30 p.m. - Saints of British Rock, Firehall Arts Centre (Main and Cordova)

7:15 p.m. - Riverview High, Firehall Arts Centre (Main and Cordova)

10:00 p.m. - My Aim is True, Revue Stage, Granville Island

Thursday, September 13

6:00 - Intrusion, Carousel Theatre, Granville Island

8:30 p.m. - Welcome to My Wake (Site-Specific, Granville Island Parking Garage)

Friday, September 14

12:30 p.m. -  RIOT - Woodwards Atrium, Gastown

5:00 p.m. - The Histories, Carousel Theatre, Granville Island

8:40 p.m. - CAPS LOCK: THE MUSICAL (starring ME!), Studio 16

Saturday, September 15

2:20 p.m. - CAPS LOCK: THE MUSICAL

5:20 p.m. - The Best. Man - Carousel Theatre, Granville Island

Happy Fringing, everyone.  It's the best time of the year.

Behold, the Mighty Zoku!

So, for my birthday my brother and sister-in-law got me the weirdest, coolest toy ever:

the Zoku

.  It makes popsicles on your counter.  In like, 5 minutes.  

Wacky, right?  But so totally cool.  They also got me the official Zoku popsicle cookbook.  I opened it and immediately shouted "I sense a new blog project coming on!"

That's right people.  It's popsicle blog time.

I started on Saturday night.  The first I made were the easiest, I think: peach pops.  Some of my own home-canned peaches, a little yogurt, agave and lime juice.  I mixed the ingredients together, and then poured them into the Zoku mould, which had been chilling in the freezer for 24 hours.  I filled it up to the "fill line," placed a stick in carefully, and waited, staring dubiously at the little thing as it sat on my counter.  6 minutes later - voila.  I pulled out a perfect pop!  I gave Andrew the first one and he said, "Mmm.  Peachy."  "Good peachy or bad peachy?" "Good."  And they were.

The Zoku's trial run.  I must admit, I was dubious.  I should never have doubted you Zoku.

Peachy pop!

Next up was the "Summer Morning" pop - honeydew melon (we used chinese honeydew, which are slightly different in colour and texture), fresh basil, and lime juice - and then sanded with sugar.  They were very tart, very basil-y, and I couldn't really taste the honeydew.  But they were certainly refreshing.  

Summer Morning pop.  Very strong, tart flavour.

I could tell after just a few tries that Zoku and I were going to become good friends.  So much so, in fact, that I made a trip to Williams-Sonoma today to buy some Zoko accessories: the "fruit wand" (which allows you to artfully place pieces of fruit in the mould), and the fruit stencils (starts and hearts), and the special "pour cups."  I opted not to get the Zoku storage case (my freezer is too tiny), but did not with interest that you can get a BIGGER Zoku, with 3 moulds - think how many more popsicles I could make!

I already have little jars of leftover peach mix and Summer morning mix in the fridge, and I've just made a mix for Chai Pops that I am dying to try.   I'll make do with my lil' red Zoku for now - but I'm envisioning an entire gourmet popsicle empire...

On Donuts.

So you may recall my

earlier post

on local donut celebrity

Cartems Donuterie

.  My adorable friend Louisa has a food vlog where she talks about all things yummy - here's her latest, on Cartems:

Speaking of Cartems, yesterday amazing corporate food delivery service

Food.ee

delivered my a half-dozen of these babies at work, free!  Thanks for the free donuts, Food.ee!

Free Cartems!  Thanks, Food.ee!

Food.ee is a free service that takes care of everything from staff birthday cakes, to team lunches to casual beers.  Their staff (who hand delivered my donuts yesterday) were oh-so-friendly and full of suggestions of great places to eat...give them a try if you're ordering for your workplace or a large crowd.

The Shop Around the Corner: La Taqueria Pinche Taco Shop

It's probably old news that

La Taqueria Pinche Taco Shop

has the best tacos in Vancouver.   Its two locations, Cambie & Broadway, and Hastings Street (near Victory Square), are always packed, and I'm always happy to wait for their delicious little tacos.  "Pinche tacos" are Mexican street tacos - smaller than the giant tacos we normally see here in Canada, served on corn tortillas.  La Taqueria uses local, organic and sustainable products where possible, and I have yet to be disappointed by any experience there.

I have a few standbys when it comes to choosing a taco.  I love the De Picadillo - which is ground tofu in a "secret sauce," and the traditional Frijoles Charros con Queso - refried beans with cheese.  I also enjoy the Pollo con Mole, when I'm in a meat-y mood (which is not very often, but sometimes) - that's chicken in chocolate mole sauce.

My tacos: two Pollo con Mole, one De Picadillo, and one Frijoles Charro con Queso.

Unbelievably, Andrew had never been to La Taqueria, so we stopped by last night for a late dinner.  Ignacio, who co-owns the Cambie location, was working at Hastings last night and Andrew asked him to pick the four "best" tacos for him to try - he got a nice selection of various cow parts, which anyone who knows Andrew (this man constantly complains that there aren't enough "meat flavoured drinks" in the world) can tell you was a very good choice on Ignacio's part.

As for me, I got my "usual", as listed above, and Ignacio asked me if I wanted him to make them up "his way" - in terms of the various hot sauces and pickles that La Taqueria has on offer.  I said sure, and it was amazing how the different sauces Ignacio chose changed the flavours so much!  They were delicious - although Ignacio was worried that he had made them too spicy and kept asking me if they were OK and to let him know if they weren't OK and he'd make new ones for me.  He also very helpfully wrote down the name of a friend's hotel in Tulum when I mentioned that my friends and I are off on our now-annual Mexican adventure in August.  The staff is friendly, and so are the customers - whenever I've been at La Taqueria, I've always had a good conversation with someone, either waiting in line, or fighting for space at one of the counters.

Andrew is much happier with his tacos than he looks in this photo.

La Taqueria Pinche Taco Shop is open Monday to Saturday, 11:00 - 9:30, at both locations.  Stand in line, it's worth it.

Special Guest Blog: In Which My Cousin Gets a Surprise in her Cheese.

Here is a rare guest blog from my cousin Sal.  It really speaks for itself.

Official photo file name, as saved by Sally: "WTF."

To Whom it May Concern:

Who doesn't like cheese? My boyfriend and I can't keep enough cheese in the house. So imagine our delight Sunday night when I cracked open a big brick of Lucerne Old Light cheddar, distributed, according to the packaging, from Calgary, to my Duncan, B.C. Safeway.

It was on sale from $11.80, or so, to $8.99. Not a bad deal at all! If there's one thing we like more than cheese, it's cheese on sale.

In any event, I cut off a chunk to further chop up for today's lunches, handed my boyfriend a second chunk to shred for tonight's dinner (tacos, if you wondered) and put the remainder back in the fridge.

It wasn't even two slices in that my knife bucked, hitting a hard object IN THE MIDDLE OF MY CHEESE.

WHAT THE HECK?

I like my cheese with crackers. I enjoy it with a sandwich or a good salad and, heck, I'll eat it on its own with no complaints. What I just yesterday learned, though, is that I do not care for PLASTIC CHUNKS OF GOD KNOWS WHAT lodged in my cheese. (see attached photos).

Naturally, I did what any younger sister would do in the circumstances. I called my big sister.

"Put it in the newspaper!" she said. I'm a reporter. People generally call me when things like this happen, and I write a public safety story and guilt big wigs like you into making it right.

But I don't really want to bring negative attention to Lucerne or to Safeway. I've grown up with both and do feel a sense of loyalty in that regard.

However, I am quite concerned and frankly uneasy now about what is going on at the factory where this cheese was made.

Lucerne Canada's own website notes that "Lucerne Foods utilizes its large base of experienced technical management from a cross section of major consumer product companies to keep quality and food safety at the forefront of our business."

Now, the quality of the plastic chunk in my cheese is up for debate, but I assure you to consume it is in no way safe. Had I (excuse the double entendre) cut the cheese a different way I may not have noticed the plastic piece until it was un my mouth and no doubt, breaking my teeth and/or gums.

Worse, my sister and her three young children (who coincidently also love cheese. It must be genetic) will be visiting this week and could have easily been the ones to eat that product. I shudder to think what that plastic piece would have done to their little teeth, mouths, and God forbid if they had choked.

No doubt you never intended to serve me plastic shards with my dairy... But you have. And it worries me deeply. Who else did you serve? Where's the remainder of whatever part this plastic broke free from? Has your factory noticed a piece of their machine is missing? Are people going to dull their good knives like I did, trying to slice through their food only to hit plastic?

So many questions.

And so I'd really like some answers. And a refund for my cheese. Because I can't in good conscience eat it now. I have the receipt, the plastic bit (and as a special bonus I've kept the cheese it was embedded in for you as well), and I have the remainder of the brick and what we shredded. I'm happy to turn it all over because I've completely lost faith in it being safe to eat.

Please do advise on Canada Post's cheese encased plastic mailing protocol.

I await your reply.

Sarah